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August 25th, 2006

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09:39 pm - F/V/K: Quick Reverse Turn and a Triple Jive
There are betas, and then there is the BOMB*. This story owes everything it is to my beta, china_shop, who pushed and pushed and pushed, and when I was at the end of my rope—pushed a little more.

*Big 'Ol Mean Beta

142. Fraser/Kowalski/Vecchio – Kowalski comes home to find Vecchio and Fraser having sex in the living room.

Quick Reverse Turn and a Triple Jive

Ray whistled coming up the stairs. It was Friday and he was feeling fine—he stopped to do a quick reverse turn on the landing, threw in a triple jive just for fun, and hit the next flight two steps at a time.

He was late. Really late. In fact, about two hours late. Things had been fine and then the Dixon thing blew up after lunch and that was the ballgame. Now it was going on seven and Fraser and Vecchio had expected him two hours ago.

He turned the corner on the last flight of stairs, and stopped dead in his tracks. The door to the apartment wasn't closed. It wasn't open, exactly, just ajar, but all of his cop instincts went bing, bing, bing and a kaleidoscope of faces played through his head (Metcalf, Zuko, Muldoon, any one of a number of beefy, illiterate Vegas mob guys—Vecchio and Fraser had a whole hit parade of people who had it in for them). Ray drew his gun and hugged the wall, and thanked god for the shitty carpet that muffled the sound of his boots. He nudged the door with his shoulder and it glided back silently, opening enough for him to slip through.

Inside the apartment he paused, listening. No Dief. That couldn't be a good sign, could it? But there were lights on in the living room and bedroom, casting shadows in the hallway, and half-unpacked boxes still piled up everywhere. Ray could smell chicken cooking—Vecchio had obviously had a chance to start dinner.

He started down the hall as quietly as possible.

Just as the silence was really starting to freak him out (dead! dismembered!) he heard the quietest of moans, low and drawn out. He froze again, concentrating. That was Vecchio. Which meant that whatever else might be wrong, at least they weren't—well, at least Vecchio wasn't—dead. And that was a win, right? A partial one anyway, all things being equal. He crept down the hallway, eyes and ears straining for something, anything, and then he stumbled when the toe of his boot got caught in something.

It was Vecchio's jacket, the brown ("—cinnamon, Kowalski, cinnamon—") Armani he'd worn to work that morning. And a few inches further down he could see Vecchio's shirt, the bright orange one ("Melon. Jeezus, you philistine—"). And Vecchio's tie and Fraser's tunic, and Fraser's—

Those bastards. Those horny fucking bastards. Ray grinned and released the breath he was holding, and sheathed his gun. He'd show them. He ducked his head around the corner, already opening his mouth to give them a hard time.

And found he couldn't make a sound.

They were—god, they were fucking beautiful. All wrapped up in each other and the room smelling like sex—sweat and fucking and Vecchio's cologne. It looked like they'd started on the sofa—which they'd left a messed up heap of pillows—but now they were on the floor, braided together in a tangle of limbs, their knees and elbows thrown into relief and skin gleaming in the warm light. They were half sitting, half lying, Fraser with his back against the sofa and Vecchio on top, all the tension drained out of him; he looked like soft, warm putty in Fraser's lap. Fraser looked almost as used up as Vecchio, damp hair falling onto his forehead and his chest rising and falling fast as he tried to get his breathing under control.

Ray drew a shaky breath. Looking at them like that—his chest was tight; he could feel the blood pulsing in his temples and in his dick and he felt—Jesus, turned on and left out, and so fucking in love with both of them.

Vecchio lifted his head and smiled down at Fraser, the smile that meant Fraser had pushed him into giving it all up, that Fraser had turned him inside out. He put his hands on Fraser's face, stroking, just looking. Fraser smiled back, small but brilliant, and Vecchio drew in a deep breath. "Ah, Benny…" he sighed, and tilted Fraser's face up to kiss him.

They weren't even thinking about him.

He should say something. This was not kosher, him lurking in the doorway like this, watching. He shouldn't let them keep thinking they were alone, but the thing was, he couldn't tear his eyes away or make himself speak. Because he knew what it was like to kiss Vecchio when he was like this, all relaxed and stupid from sex. And what it was like to kiss Fraser, who was all control on the outside, and molten heat on the inside. He knew Vecchio was making those soft breathy sounds that you couldn't hear from way over here in the doorway, and that the heat was rising off of Fraser like a reactor on overload.

He'd been with them both, separately and together, but he'd never imagined them together without him in the equation. Oh, he'd known Vecchio had once been crazy about Fraser—Vecchio had admitted as much—and he'd always suspected that Fraser used to feel the same, even if he'd never been willing to talk about it. But he'd never really thought about it before. Didn't know if he liked thinking about it. Didn't not like it, exactly, but—

Leave, Ray thought. He should leave. He could leave, he could, and come in again, and make a whole bunch of noise—no, no, he should call, yeah, and say he was on his way, and he could go down to the place on the corner and have a quick Coke or something and then come back again—

"I don't get this sometimes." Vecchio said, out of the blue, kinda soft and quiet. Hushed, like he was confessing or something.

"Don't get what, Ray?" Fraser's attention was divided. Vecchio was trailing a hand down Fraser's chest, idly tracing a nipple, a rib, and it looked like Fraser was trying to watch his fingers and his face at the same time. Vecchio's fingers reached Fraser's belly and Fraser drew in a breath sharply.

"Ticklish, Benny?" Vecchio asked with a smile, like him and Ray hadn't used that particular weapon against Fraser before.


"Kidding, kidding." Vecchio's smile faded, his expression pensive. He slid off of Fraser's lap and leaned back against the sofa, next to him.

"What don't you get, Ray?" Fraser asked softly, and Vecchio shrugged and took a deep breath.

"You. Me. Us." A pause. "Kowalski." Vecchio waved his hand around in a gesture that seemed to encompass the universe. "This."

"This." Fraser's voice sounded carefully neutral. "Our relationship—yours and mine and Ray's?"

"Yeah." Vecchio leaned into Fraser's shoulder. "Yeah. You and me and him."

Fuck. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Vecchio didn't want this? Vecchio had just—what—been going along? Going through the motions? Settling for Fraser so he could get—? Or—fuck—settling for him so he could get—

Oh, Jesus Christ, oh, Christ—

Ray could see from the frown on Fraser's face that what Vecchio had said wasn't sitting too well with him either. In fact, Fraser looked downright uncomfortable all of a sudden, like someone just mentioned to him that he was naked. He cleared his throat. "Ray—Ray and I would never want to make you uncomfortable—"

"No, Benny, no, no, no—not that. It's not like that. That's not it at all." Vecchio leaned over and kissed Fraser, and it took Fraser a second to get with the program, like he was giving Vecchio a chance to change his mind. Vecchio kept at it, though, and finally Fraser relaxed and kissed him back.

"It's just—I wanted you so much, Benny," Vecchio whispered softly into Fraser's ears, cheeks, throat—whispers that were hard to make out, and Ray didn't know if he wanted to hear them anyway. "I wanted you so much and I didn't know how—I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know, I swear. I wanted you and I just didn't know what to do with it."

"I—knew, Ray. I wanted you, too, and I knew—I knew there was—something—" Fraser looked down at his hands. "I knew how you felt."

"But you didn't— Didn't you want to—?" Vecchio's confusion was obvious, and his hurt.

Fraser shook his head. "You were my friend, Ray. I didn't know how to ask for one without risking the other, and your friendship was—is—so important to me." Fraser shook his head. "I was afraid. And then you were gone and Ray was there—"

Ray could see Vecchio start to withdraw and he held his breath. "—and you fell in love with him," Vecchio finished.

Fraser looked up at Vecchio, like he had to say this open and honest and looking straight into Vecchio's eyes, which of course he did, because that was Fraser. Straight down the line. "And I fell in love with him."

And it was stupid, this wave of—relief?—sweeping through him. He knew Fraser loved him, just liked he loved Fraser. And he loved Vecchio, goddamn it. They all loved each other — wasn't that the whole fucking point of this thing anyway—?!

"But you—" Vecchio hesitated, and then Ray could almost see him thinking 'what the hell' and plowing ahead anyway. "He left you. Kowalski left."

Fraser nodded once. Tight. "He left."

"It's none of my business." Vecchio was withdrawing again, pulling away from Fraser, and Ray was suddenly afraid of how far he'd go.

Don't let him, Fraser. Don't let him go.

Fraser stopped Vecchio with a hand on his arm. "He didn't tell you?"

Vecchio started to shake his head, then stopped and nodded shortly. "Some. Not much."

"Ah." Fraser leaned back against the sofa again, his hand still resting on Vecchio's arm. "He— We didn't know how to make it work."

The bleakness in Fraser's voice was old knife that could still cut deep. Ray stared down at the toes of his boots—he couldn't bear the look on Fraser's face.

"We tried but he wasn't happy. Ray needed more than I could give him. And I thought I needed other things more than I wanted him. In the end, he decided to leave and I let him go." Fraser took a deep breath. "And he came back to Chicago and fell in love with you."

Ray looked up in time to see the sudden color come into Vecchio’s face. Embarrassment and a kind of triumph. "He was—" Vecchio shook his head. "He was like gale force winds or something. He got under my skin, battered down every wall I had. I couldn't get him out of my head. I love him something crazy, Benny. I know it doesn’t make sense, him and me, but it worked, almost from the beginning. The first time—" Vecchio hesitated.

"The first time?"

"The first time it wasn't just about getting over you," Vecchio said, talking fast, trying to get through the last bit quickly, almost like an apology. "I didn't believe him when he said that. He said he was over you—"

—shit, shit, shit, Vecchio, there's full disclosure and then there's flapping your mouth off—

"—and I told him he was full of shit." Vecchio flashed a quick grin. "And he was, Benny, you know he was, 'cause look around—I'd say the evidence vindicates me on this one. Anyway, I yelled at him, said that it would always be about you. And he—" Vecchio stopped and laughed, and Ray had to smile, because he remembered the conversation, too. "He said if he was just looking for quick fuck he'd find someone with more hair and fewer relatives."

Fraser smiled, too, and the tension in the room dropped a little. Vecchio shook his head. "When you came back, I thought for sure he was gonna toss me over for you. I thought he'd leave skid marks getting out the door. I'd never had you — never thought I'd ever have you so that was like wishing after the moon—but I loved him so fucking much. What we had was good—it was good, Benny—but I was sure he'd go with you." Vecchio gave Fraser a wry grin. "I hated your guts."

It was a shock to hear Vecchio admit it. Ray had been there, had seen Vecchio tense and silent, bitterly trying not to hope. Ray'd thought that was all behind them now.

"But then," Vecchio sobered again, "—believe it or not—everything I'd ever felt for you started to come back. I started feeling all of that all over again, and that made me even crazier—

"You weren't the only one facing that dilemma, Ray."


"I wanted Ray back. I came to get him back." Fraser's voice was low but steady. "Regardless of who I had to take him from, regardless of what I had to do or—or what it would do to you." Ray could see Vecchio's jaw tighten and the color rise in Fraser's cheeks. Ray held his breath.

"And then I saw him with you and—I recognized what the two of you had. What he'd found with you. And I wanted that, too. What I'd never had the courage to ask for." Fraser touched Vecchio's face again, touched his cheek. "I hated you, too, Ray, but I also wanted you. Very much." Fraser hesitated.


"Ray, it's important that you know that I wouldn't have—" Fraser stopped speaking again.

It felt like Ray and Vecchio were both holding the same breath.

"It's important that you know— It had to be both of you, Ray. Has to be both of you. I won't settle for anything less."

"Ah, Benny, me, too. Me, too, me, too—"

Ray's eyes felt hot and he turned away, back into the cool, dark hallway. He reached up to wipe away the burn. He couldn't see—but then he didn't have to, he could hear, couldn't he? The whispers and the sighs, the hitched breathing and the soft, wet sounds from the room behind him. He could imagine the way Fraser was fitting himself over Vecchio and the way Vecchio looked, head flung back and throat working, hairy arms and legs coming up around Fraser and holding on tight. He could imagine the kissing—the way they would fit together. No space between them.

Oh, god. Ray pressed his hand against his mouth to keep all the sounds he wanted to make from escaping. Now was not the time to lose it. He needed to—to get back out without them hearing, and then turn around and come right back in, like it was the first time. Friday night, late for dinner, and a whole weekend ahead of them.

He hadn't lost anything, Ray reminded himself as he made his way back to the door. He hadn't lost anything. Everything was exactly the way it had been that morning, except maybe he'd left some half-baked notions behind, some stupid ideas about being in first place.

There was a sudden commotion at the window and Dief came in off the fire escape, covered in dried mud and leaves. He spied Ray and trotted up, tail wagging.

"Hey, Kowalski, is that you?" It was Vecchio, calling out from the living room. Dief was practically on top of Ray now, sniffing his pockets, but he lost interest quickly and took off for the living room.

"It is you. About time, goddamn it. If that chicken is ruined, you're buying us all dinner, Kowalski." Vecchio had taken the time to pull on his pants and shirt. "Of course, I didn't put it in until six, figured you'd manage to be late anyway— Kowalski?" Vecchio looked at him closely. "What's wrong—you're— Are you hurt? Is he hurt, Fraser?"

"We got Dixon," Ray finally said, talking past the tightness in his throat. "One hundred grams of crystal meth."

"Dime-bag Dixon?" Vecchio took him by the elbow and led him into the living room. Fraser had his pants on and was on his feet by the sofa, righting the pillows as he lectured Dief on cleanliness.

Vecchio pushed Ray down and Dief crowded up between his legs. "That's one for the good guys, then. Here," Vecchio reached over for a half-full bottle of beer sitting on the coffee table. "Take a sip—you look done in."

Fraser pulled on his sweater and sat next to Ray, clasping his shoulder. He looked at him carefully. "Are you sure you're all right, Ray? You do look very pale"

Deep breath.

Quick reverse turn and a triple jive.

God, he loved them.

"Me, I'm fine, Fraser, unless your wolf here eats something important." He smiled.

"You look funny," Vecchio said, still frowning.

"Not as funny as you," Ray countered. He reached out and reeled Vecchio in, feeling the dampness through his shirt as he kissed him. "You started without me, you bastards."

"The Mountie jumped me," Vecchio murmured, grinning. He tasted like Fraser.

"Actually, as I recall, Ray—" Fraser started to say.

But they didn't let him finish.

(27 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 02:09 am (UTC)
holy shit! this makes me giddy with joy. the sexual aftermath is so sensual, the characters so spot-on, and i love love love writers acknowledging the emotional pitfalls of the three-way and then making it all make sense after all.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 03:04 am (UTC)
(still feeling gush-y) yes, i adore how even after hearing the other boys declare their love for him (which could so easily have been a big old ego-stroke), the whole experience is still a slap in the face for kowalski. realizing for the first time that he isn't the center of the relationship, that they love each other too. and he's tough enough and brave enough to deal and love them anyway. lovely!
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 04:06 am (UTC)
*grins* nobody should ever, ever apologize for being in love with kowalski. and your version here is extremely lovable. excellent work!
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 02:14 am (UTC)

(Hi, I know you're not surprised that's my answer to, like, everything. Sorry.)

Oh, god. Ray pressed his hand against his mouth to keep all the sounds he wanted to make from escaping. Now was not the time to lose it. He needed to—to get back out without them hearing, and then turn around and come right back in, like it was the first time. Friday night, late for dinner, and a whole weekend ahead of them.

Man, I totally love the way you do emotion, making it real without overstating.
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 02:23 am (UTC)
schmoop city! That was awesome! I haven't really been able to quite "get" the three of them together so far but you made me really see how it would actually work. But it WAS schmoopy.
*hands you winning schmoop points*
Date:August 26th, 2006 02:25 am (UTC)
She is the bomb, and this is gutwrenching and wonderful, and omg Fraser & Vecchio's honesty with each other in contrast with RayK's eavesdropping. And, god, they all love each other so much!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 02:47 am (UTC)



this is. Beautiful and sexy and beautiful *bookmarks*
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 02:53 am (UTC)
Oh, this is amazing. I loved every tiny piece. *hearts*
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 03:57 am (UTC)
Wow. Wowza. Wow wow wow.
Love it.
Love them.
Love you.
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 03:58 am (UTC)
Wow this is brilliant and can I give you a million dollars?
This isn't schmoop, in my book. It's honest to god love.
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 05:39 am (UTC)
God, honey, this was worth every minute I waited for it. Hot and perfect and SO them, and I love how you exposed the dynamics of their relationship in the context of an intimate moment, and how Kowalski finally understands the full extent of Fraser and Vecchio's relationship with one another.

Brava. Really. And you didn't even really break them!
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 07:38 am (UTC)
Wow. There is not much else that I can say about it. The absolute beauty of that moment when Kowalski realizes that he loves them and that they love him back in the same way - astounding. Thank you so much for writting this - it was AMAZING.
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 08:30 am (UTC)
Wow, what an emotional punch this packs. \o/ for F/K/V, but this is more than a hot threesome--it's love.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:August 27th, 2006 05:22 am (UTC)
See, to me the dS threesome is all about the love--more to go around, you know? At least once everyone is on the same page of music.
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 11:45 am (UTC)
I got teary eyed right along with Ray. That was beautiful.
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 02:32 pm (UTC)
This was a great response to the challenge prompt. I kinda read it as a bookend to post-CotW stories like "End of the Road" (*sniff!*) and "Get What You Need" because it shows that these guys survived some pretty painful emotional turmoil and came together and made it work. And I really appreciated that senes of negotiation you impart to the story; it's not all sunshine and roses and hot mansex - it's compromise and work and sometimes people's feelings get hurt. Your RayV and RayK voices/dialogue was spot-on, and the sex between Vecchio and Fraser was hot hot hot. Thanks for posting this!
[User Picture]
Date:August 26th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
*is dead*
[User Picture]
Date:August 27th, 2006 09:40 pm (UTC)
I'd leave a gushing squeeing fangirling response, except I'm currently struck speechless. When I unlock my jaw I will undoubtedly WOW you into the next century. And get down on one knee and propose. (hey, with your newly earned million bucks we could live a long and happy life... in separate countries, even!)

For now you have to settle for yet another zombie with misty eyes and a dopey grin staring and staring at the words you have written. Excuse me while I go back to doing just that. (If you find my jaw on the floor somewhere please post it to me if you get a chance, thanx.)
[User Picture]
Date:August 28th, 2006 01:07 am (UTC)
Okay, you *know* I read F/K/V but, like the tooth fairy, don't *really* believe it.

The tooth fairy is REAL.

Sweartagod. ::crosses heart::


::busses you bigtime::
[User Picture]
Date:August 28th, 2006 08:51 am (UTC)
Wow. A million dollars. Do you take sterling, or do you reject our funny British money? This is amazing- the best illustration of the tension and dynamic in an F/K/V fic I've ever read. And RayK's so brave! You just want to hand him a lollipop and give him a hug, he's so conflicted hearing RayV and Frase talking.I'm so glad you gave us this incredible hotness, but also messy emotional stuff. Just wow.

Date:August 29th, 2006 01:35 am (UTC)
Oh, this is brilliant and beautiful and perfect, and THEM! I'm flailing in wonder and adoration here, at the way you weild that knife of yours. This, this is the anatomy of a triangle. It has three sides, it has three apexes; and guess what, Kowalski? One of those apexes is nowhere near you! And yet, without it, you wouldn't have the triangle, you wouldn't have the space enclosed between the three sides, the space that's filled up with each of them.

I love this!
[User Picture]
Date:August 29th, 2006 01:37 am (UTC)
Wow. There was more than just the hot sex here- that's secondary to the emotional punch this packs. The confessions and Ray realizing that he's not the apex, but that they love him and he loves them. And how at the end he sucks it up, puts on a brave face and goes to them, without letting on that he heard everything. I just want to hugs them all.
[User Picture]
Date:September 2nd, 2006 11:16 pm (UTC)
this is me taking a solid week to read this three times and digest it a little before getting to comment to you. I like this look at the three of them a LOT. I like how you built it, how we can see the various connections involved: there is Fraser and Ray, there is Fraser and Vecchio, and there is Vecchio and Kowalski. All the connections are distinct, but they're tied together, too, and Fraser is the lynchpin, he just is, he's what draws them all together.

But I love the balance there, and I think this is the only way that ray could have found out - in a way that gave him the moments and the lack of doubt that would allow him to deal with it - that yeah, it's the three of them, but it is Fraser and Vecchio TOO. It's - I don't know, setting it like this gave him the moment to hear it in a way that was completely *honest* - they weren't thinking about his feelings, they weren't trying to make him feel better or okay or anything, it was just finding out *how it is*, and I love that Ray is a strong enough guy to take that and realize how, well, fucking awesome that is.

in conclusion: Yay. I do love this! ♥
[User Picture]
Date:September 16th, 2006 12:19 am (UTC)
I think this taught me how to figure out my own RL issues.

Which is to say, amazingly real emotion here.
[User Picture]
Date:October 15th, 2006 08:34 pm (UTC)
Mmmmm. A wishlist of favorite ingredients... angst, voyeurism, hot sex, pangs of jealousy (to fuel the angst!), love triangle (more angst-fuel!) m/m/m love&sex, and a hot happy ending. Yay!
[User Picture]
Date:March 6th, 2007 02:41 am (UTC)
Oh, this is lovely.

I love this: "What's wrong—you're— Are you hurt? Is he hurt, Fraser?" because it just sounds like Vecchio, although I can't articulate why.
Date:October 1st, 2007 06:43 am (UTC)
I don't know what I love the most about this. There's a problem that the guys work through, there's Kowalski dealing with the uncertainty of how sex among three people works (yay realism!), there's hot lovemaking and kissing, there's banter, there's Dief being naughty...it's just all excellent.

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